


these emotions we leave behind

by alainey



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Guardians (League of Legends), End of the World, F/F, Fluff, Introspection, Light Angst, POV Second Person, funky formatting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 20:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20712041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alainey/pseuds/alainey
Summary: Your hands shake as they clutch at your sides, heart disbelieving. You team is gone, shattered and dispersed, and there’s a glittering laugh that fills the air: a stifling, omnipresent sound.When you look up, there are stars falling from the sky.





	these emotions we leave behind

You’d always wondered what the end of the world would be like, but you never figured you’d be alive to see it. In fact, you’d always expected that it’d happen much, much farther into the future, long after you’d already died; not when you’re barely 18, and certainly not as a result of your own personal failures.

Your hands shake as they clutch at your sides, heart disbelieving. Your team is gone, shattered and dispersed, and there’s a glittering laugh that fills the air: a stifling, omnipresent sound.

When you look up, there are stars falling from the sky.

You make your way through the rubble, one foot after the other, nails digging hard into your palms. Kuro and Shiro are gone now, too, and you have no direction, no purpose. At least, not anymore.

It’s only as you’re cresting the ridge of a fractured, crumbling cathedral that you spot her: standing - almost as aimless as you - amidst the darkly decaying rubble, her pink twintails set loose from their ties. Her uniform is dirty, no longer its pristine white, and her tattered pink skirt rests faded against her legs. There’s blood, grime, and a sickly green ichor that’s caking atop her skin, and her staff - now broken and lightless - hangs heavily in her hand at her side.

You wonder if, perhaps, it isn’t really her. After all: you’ve had visions of the past dancing at the edge of your vision for hours now - small, nightmarish things - and, after everything you’ve been through, it’s hard to believe anything, anymore.

But then she turns, meets your gaze, and her eyes go impossibly wide - her mouth forming a small _oh_ \- and you know, deep within your soul, that it really is her:

_Lux._

Your heart nearly stops.

She drops her staff, one hand reaching out to you and the other rising to cover her mouth as she takes a single step forward. Her small, staggering motion snaps you back to reality, and then suddenly you’re running, eyes teary, towards the only constant your life has ever hand:

And you’re tripping over your feet as you race to meet her, stumbling, catching, falling - 

\- falling, falling, _falling_ just as you always have - head over heels for her now: just as you were then, and just as you will be, forever.

Straight into her arms you leap, fingers curling tight around her blouse as you curl your arms around her and bury your face in her hair. She breathes your name once, warm voice trembling as she pulls you closer, and you breathe her name back: a blessing, a prayer, a fervent wish.

She smells of sweet cherry blossoms and cream.

You feel her arms creep around your waist as she pulls you closer - a tight, rib-bruising embrace; and yet, it’s so warm, so comfortable in her arms, and you can do nothing but squeeze her tighter in return. You’re close enough to feel the beat of her heart under her uniform, the light panting of her breath upon your neck. 

And so, it isn’t hard for you to tell the moment that she begins to cry.

“Gods, Jinx -” she sobs, the words coming out between softly hiccupping sobs, “_I thought you were already dead_ -”

“I’m here,” you reply - “I’m here, I’m here, _I’m here_.” The words are muffled against her hair, and you pull back from her ever so slightly: just enough to meet her happy, teary gaze. 

Even after everything, you find it incredible that her eyes are still so bright.

“Everyone else is dead,” she tells you, her voice still trembling. She has no shame in letting her tears fall - the large droplets streaming heavily down her face - and the slight leaves your own eyes feeling wet. “I watched them all shatter, one by one; but you - Jinx, _I just couldn’t find you_ -”

You brush the hair out of her face, finger running soft against her forehead: “I’m here,” you say again, and her face goes soft.

“I was so worried,” Lux mumbles, and she wipes away her tears with a messy, bloodstained hand. 

“You’re not _still_ worried?” you ask, breaking out into a half-hearted smile as you gesture off towards the roiling mass of darkness that hovers above the horizon. The glittering laugh still fills the air - louder, now - yet Lux shakes her head, sheepishly, before cupping her hands around your face and tilting your head down.

“Not so much, anymore,” Lux replies, her breath mixing hot with yours, and then she’s kissing you - lips sweet and tears salty - and you’re melting, sinking, _falling_ into her once more. She holds you close to her heart, fingers running softly through your hair -

\- and suddenly, you’re home. 

Lux, Lux, _Lux_. Your best friend, your lover: the light of your life. 

You’d never belonged anywhere before you met her. 

And the world is ending - that much is clear. But here and now Lux holds you in her arms, kisses the tears from your cheeks, and you know - at the very least - that you’ve made it home before the end. 

For if there’s anywhere in the world that you’d call home; if there’s anyone in the world that you’d call yours; if there’s anything good left in this awful, lousy world; 

if there’s anywhere, anyone, anything - _it’s her_.

_For you, it’s always been her._

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [leagueofwriting](https://twitter.com/leagueofwriting) prompt “falling” and inspired by [“And I'm Home”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH6NB2F-Jcw), a character song from Puella Magi. The title comes from the end of the song: "It won't ever change; these emotions which have been left behind."
> 
> This fic is extremely experimental, but was a lot of fun to write + format! (If you want to put a happier spin on it all, please imagine this entire scene happens while Jinx is stuck in one of Zoe's nightmare dreamscape bubbles.) That said, I hope you enjoyed! If you wanna come and chat with me about this, or any other league related stuff, you can find me [here](https://twitter.com/alainey_lee) on twitter!


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